Goodness, I don’t write as often as I used to! I usually have ideas for posts rumbling around my head, but I don’t seem to pull them together much. I find myself needing to today.
In just about a month and a half, we’ll be at the 10 year mark. Ten years without Maggie. That means this is our 10th Christmas without her. We’ll enter our 10th new year without her. I’m really feeling it. I’m not sleeping well. I find myself crying randomly. Music hits harder. We haven’t decorated yet; I haven’t felt much in the spirit. I’m waiting for Molly to get the tree, so we should get it this weekend. That might help lift my mood some. It will also be nice to have Lydon & Molly home for break.
I have written before about the fact that I have been fortunate to not have heard some incredibly thoughtless comments other bereaved parents often hear. Friends have been told to get over it, it has been long enough. If anyone has ever thought it, they’ve never said it to me, thankfully. Here we sit, almost 10 years out, and we will never get over it. Maggie will forever be gone, and our hearts will forever be broken. We are all changed by her loss. Every milestone is one that Maggie is not experiencing.
In the hustle and bustle that is this crazy time of year, just remember to be gentle with those around you. We never know what someone else is experiencing, and a small amount of grace can go a long way. If you see me and I don’t seem quite myself, know that I’m ok, I just miss my beautiful girl a little extra.
I Made My Kid Walk to School with Cancer 